Discernment Counseling
One of you wants to leave.
One of you isn't ready to let go.
If that is where you are, you do not need to decide the whole future of your relationship today. Discernment counseling gives you both a structured space to get clear on what you actually want, before you decide anything permanent.
This is not couples therapy, and it is not a last-ditch effort to save something that is not working. It is a short, focused process for finding clarity, together.
What This Is
A process for clarity,
not persuasion.
Discernment counseling follows a model developed by Dr. William Doherty for couples where one partner is leaning out of the relationship and the other is leaning in. That mismatch is not a barrier to this work. It is exactly the situation it was built for.
My role is not to save your relationship or to help you end it. It is to help each of you get clear on your own thinking, so that whatever you decide, you decide it with your eyes open.
"You don't have to know what you want yet. You just have to be willing to find out."
How It Works
What to expect from the process.
Session One
A two hour first session
We spend time with you as a couple and individually with each of you. This length matches what the discernment model calls for. It is not something we can do well in a standard hour.
If You Continue
Ninety minute follow-up sessions
Most couples complete the process in one to five sessions total. Some reach clarity after the first meeting and need nothing further.
This process does not involve a diagnosis, and there is no identified patient. We are working with the two of you as a unit, on one question: whether to invest further in this relationship, and how. If you choose to move forward together, we can transition into ongoing couples therapy from there.
Investment
Session fees.
First Session
2 Hours
$450
Includes joint and individual time with each of you, following the discernment counseling model.
Follow-Up Sessions
90 Minutes
$375
Scheduled only if needed. Most couples need very few of these to reach clarity.
Because discernment counseling does not involve a diagnosis, it is not eligible for insurance reimbursement or superbills.
Questions
What people ask me.
How many sessions will we need?
Most couples complete the discernment process in one to five sessions. Some reach clarity after the first meeting.
What if only one of us wants to come?
That is common, and it is actually the situation discernment counseling is built for. One person leaning out and one leaning in is the starting point, not a barrier.
Is this the same as couples therapy?
No. Couples therapy works on improving the relationship. Discernment counseling works on helping you decide whether to invest in that work at all. If you choose the six month path, we can move into ongoing couples therapy from there.
Will you tell us what to do?
No. My role is to help each of you get clear on your own thinking, not to steer you toward staying or leaving.
Do you meet with us together or separately?
Both, often within the same session. Expect time as a couple and time one on one with each of you.
Is this covered by insurance?
No. Discernment counseling does not involve a diagnosis or an identified client, since the work is with the couple as a unit rather than treating one person. Because of that, it does not meet the standard of medical necessity that insurance requires, and I am not able to provide a superbill for these sessions. Payment is due at the time of each session.
Ready to Talk?
You don't have to figure this out
on your own.
If one of you is leaning out and the other isn't ready to let go, reaching out is the first step toward clarity, not a commitment to any particular outcome.
Reach Out