Certified Sex & Couples Therapist · LCSW
I'm Paula Kirsch, an LCSW and Certified Sex Therapist working with individuals and couples in NY, CT, and MI on the things that are hardest to bring up.
Some things are hard to say.
That's exactly
what this work is for.
Sex therapy and couples work for people ready to stop going in circles.
Paula Kirsch
LCSW, CST · PhD Student, MSTI
- Certified Sex Therapist (IBOSP & IAPST)
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker
- Gottman Trained, Level II
- Brainspotting Trained
- PhD Student in Sexology, MSTI
Does any of
this sound
familiar?
If you're reading this, something brought you here. That's usually enough to start.
- You and your partner used to have sex. Now you don't, and neither of you has said it out loud yet.
- You've been in therapy before. It was fine. Nothing shifted.
- Sex has started to feel like something to get through rather than something you want.
- You're carrying something you've never brought into a room with a therapist. You're not sure you can.
- Your body stopped cooperating, and your doctor has ruled everything out. You still don't have an answer.
- You love your partner. You're just not sure you want to stay.
- You're in a relationship that doesn't fit the standard model, and you've had therapists who were visibly uncomfortable with that. You're not doing that again.
- Something happened, and you've managed it. But managed isn't the same as okay.
- You want to want sex. You just don't know how to get back there.
- You've been taking care of everyone. You've stopped expecting anyone to notice.
What I Work With
The things people find hardest to talk about.
01
Sex Therapy
For desire discrepancy, vaginismus, painful sex, sexual trauma, low libido, intimacy avoidance, and questions about identity or orientation. This is specialized work, not a checkbox on a generalist's list.
Learn More02
Couples Therapy
For trust that's been broken, communication that's broken down, or a relationship that's good but could be better. Gottman Method informed, and focused on what actually needs to change.
Learn More03
LGBTQ+, Kink & Polyam Affirming
Your relationship structure and identity are not a detour we have to take before the real work. They are the starting point. LGBTQ+, kink, ENM, polyamorous, mixed-orientation: all part of the everyday practice here.
Learn More04
Women's Sexual Health
For women dealing with sexual pain, vaginismus, low desire, arousal difficulties, or intimacy changes after medical events or hormonal shifts. Often coordinated with OB/GYN referrals for integrated care.
Learn MoreWhether you're looking for individual therapy or couples work, I can help.
A Note on Privacy
This space is
genuinely private.
Sessions are not recorded or transcribed. Just the same vague notes I've always taken to protect your privacy.
That matters especially if you're exploring something you haven't said out loud before — a relationship structure, a desire, an identity, or something you're not sure has a name yet. I want you to be able to say the thing and know that it lives only in this room.
Read More: Are Your Therapy Notes Really Private?
About Paula
The work I do asks people to be honest about hard things.
"The least I can do is bring real expertise to that conversation."
I'm Paula Kirsch, a Certified Sex Therapist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and PhD student in sexology at MSTI. I specialize in sex therapy, couples work, and the full range of relationship dynamics.
I've also sat in the client chair. I know what it costs when a therapist doesn't see the full picture — when one person's experience gets centered and the other's doesn't. That experience is part of why holding both partners' realities evenhandedly isn't just a clinical principle for me. It's something I take seriously.
People come to me after they've tried to handle something on their own for too long, or after other forms of therapy touched the edges of it but didn't go deep enough.
How I Work
The tools behind the sessions.
Gottman Method
Empirically validated couples work focused on trust, friendship, and learning to work through conflict without making things worse.
Brainspotting
Brain-body trauma processing that reaches what conversation alone often cannot. My preferred modality for deep, lasting change.
Logotherapy
Rooted in Viktor Frankl's work: the belief that a sense of meaning larger than ourselves is one of the most powerful forces for healing. Not a way around your pain, but a reason to move through it.
Current Sexology Research
Grounded in what the field actually knows now, not outdated frameworks. I stay current because the research keeps moving and my clients deserve that.
Telehealth Practice
Private, secure sessions
from your home.
No commute, no waiting room. All sessions via a secure, HIPAA-compliant platform in three states.
New York
All sessions are virtual and fully confidential. For this kind of work, being in your own space tends to make the conversation easier, not harder.
Learn More
Connecticut
Licensed in CT, with clients across the state from Fairfield County to Hartford and beyond. Telehealth means geography is not a barrier.
Learn More
Michigan
Licensed in Michigan offering specialized sex therapy, couples therapy, and LGBTQ+ affirming care across the state.
Learn More
From the Practice
What I'm thinking about.
Sex Therapy
What a Finger Cut Taught Me About Sexual Pain
Brainspotting
When Talking Isn't Enough
Kink & ENM Affirming
What Is Kink-Affirming Therapy?
This Is Where You Start
A free 15-minute consultation.
No pressure, no commitment.
You've probably been sitting with this for a while. A consultation call is a low-stakes way to ask a question, get a sense of how I work, and figure out if this is the right fit. It costs nothing, and it doesn't obligate you to anything.