When You're Not Sure Whether to Stay or Go
Couples and Divorce Therapy for New Yorkers
Some of the hardest conversations happen in the quietest moments. Not during the argument, but after — when the house is still and you're lying next to someone you've built a life with, wondering how you got here. Wondering if there's a way back. Wondering if you even want one.
If you're reading this, you're probably somewhere in that in-between place. Maybe a decision has already been made. Maybe you're still trying to figure out if it has to be.
Either way, you don't have to navigate it alone.
This Is One of the Hardest Things You'll Go Through
Separation and divorce aren't just logistical events. They're losses — of a shared future, of a version of yourself, sometimes of a family structure you worked hard to build. And they happen while life keeps moving. You still have to show up. For work, for your kids, for everyone who needs something from you. The internal experience and the external performance can feel completely disconnected, and that gap is exhausting.
Whatever brought you here — a slow drift, a rupture, years of something not quite working, or a single moment that changed everything — your pain is real. And it deserves real attention.
For Couples Who Are Still Deciding
Good couples therapy is not easy. If it's working, it's raw and honest and sometimes uncomfortable. It asks both of you to show up fully, to say the things that are hardest to say, and to actually hear each other — maybe for the first time in a long time.
And when two people love each other and are genuinely looking for a way through, that process can be remarkable. I've watched couples find their way back to each other from places that felt completely hopeless. Not by pretending the problems weren't real, but by finally having the space and support to face them together.
That's what I'm here to help with — facilitating the difficult conversations, sitting with you in the hard moments, and helping you find your way back to each other if that's where you want to go.
I want to be honest with you about something: I don't have a stake in whether you stay or go. That decision belongs to you. My job is to help you get clear enough to make a choice you can actually live with — and to understand what brought you here, so that whatever comes next is more conscious than what came before.
If the Decision Has Been Made
Sometimes people come to me not to save a relationship but to end one with as much care and dignity as possible. That matters too — especially when children are involved, or when two people who once loved each other deeply are trying not to become strangers who hurt each other.
Separation isn't a single moment. It's a process, and each stage of it calls for something different.
In the early days, when everything feels acute and destabilizing, Brainspotting can help. It works at a neurobiological level, reaching the places where shock and grief get lodged in the body before the mind has had a chance to catch up. People often describe it as getting unstuck — moving through the initial wave faster than they expected, without having to think their way out of a feeling.
As things settle into a new shape, the work shifts. Who are you now, outside of this relationship? What do you want your life to look like? What patterns do you want to understand before you carry them somewhere new? These aren't small questions, and they deserve real space.
When children or ongoing shared responsibilities are part of the picture, the Gottman framework offers evidence-based tools for communicating across what can feel like the wreckage of a relationship. Couples who can move into a respectful co-parenting structure — even imperfectly — do better. Their children do better. It's harder to get there without support, and much more possible with it.
A Word About Shame
Divorce carries more shame than it should. If you're someone who is used to solving problems, used to figuring things out, a relationship ending can feel like evidence of personal failure. The internal voice often sounds something like: I should have been able to fix this. I chose wrong. I let everyone down.
That story is worth looking at carefully. Relationships are living things, not performance metrics. The fact that one has reached a crisis point — or an ending — doesn't tell the story of who you are. Sometimes the most honest, courageous thing a person can do is acknowledge that something isn't working and ask for help.
You deserve support that can hold all of that without flinching, and without handing you easy answers that don't actually help.
How I Work
I see all clients via telehealth — secure, HIPAA-compliant video sessions that fit into real life. No commute, no waiting rooms, no running into anyone. Just a private space to do the actual work, wherever you happen to be.
I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Certified Sex Therapist, licensed in New York, Connecticut, and Michigan, and currently a PhD student in sexology at MSTI. I'm trained in Brainspotting, the Gottman Method, and approaches that work efficiently and don't require you to talk indefinitely without anything shifting.
Ready to Reach Out?
I’m happy to connect beforehand if you have questions. Just reach out through the encrypted contact form and I'll usually get back to you within 24 to 48 hours. The first session is a paid clinical intake, and I can usually get you in within a week.
